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FUNNY JOKES
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FUNNY JOKES

FUNNY SARDAR JOKES

Sardar1:- Marte Waqt Aadmi Ko Kya Dena Chahiye?
Sardar2:-Birla cement
Sardar1:-Kyun?
Sardar2:- Kyunki Is Cement Mein Jaan Hain
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Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone and says "Hi, Main bol
Raha
Hoon". The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha
Hoon!"
-------------------------------
A Sardar had called an Englishman for lunch.
There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this?
The Sardar didn't know English, he said "Milk sleeping in night, morning

becomes tight"
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Once a sardarji tries to cheat the Indian railways. He is thinking for a

novel idea. He thinks a lot and finally he did one thing, he bought the
ticket and didn't travel.
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A sardar was drawing money from ATM. The Sardar behind him in the line
said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks(****). The first sardar replies, " Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r
wrong.
It's 1258."
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What is the height of stupidity?
2 sardarjies sitting on a motorcycle & fighting for a window seat
----------------------
Did you hear about the sardarji who is so rich he has two swimming
pools,
one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!
----------------------------
Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar?
Driver: Which part?
Santa Singh: All of me, of course!
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What do you call a Sardarji in a deep well?
A deep thinker..
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Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks, 'Aap ke paas color TV hai kya?'
Haan' replies shopowner.
Santa Singh says, 'Ek hara vala dena!'
---------------------------------
Once Santa Singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl!
So girl shouted, 'Sala ghanti nahi maar sakta tha!!!'
And sardarji replied, 'Poori cycle to maar di ab ghanti alag se
maroon??!!!'
---------------------------
Help....
The Titanic is going to be drowned.... Everybody in the ship is
shouting,
crying, running or praying to God...
Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarji in the ship.
Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Sardarji : Two miles ..
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have
got
the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship
into
the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.
Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here?
Sardarji : Downwards......
-----------------------------------------
 
Santa Singh and Banta Singh both bought one horse each.
 
They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. So Santa Singh asked "how will we know which is your and which is mine?"
 
Banta Singh said "its easy I will cut mine's tail, and yours will be the one with tail."
 
Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.
 
So the next morning confusion arose even more. Santa Singh said."don worry, ill tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the one without the bell."
 
The boys heard this too so they cut the bell.
 
The next day, Santa Singh got frustrated and said
 
"OKAY!! now the last criteria will be that:

WHITE HORSE will be yours and BLACK HORSE will be mine."

-------------------------------------

Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -

Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?

------------------------------

Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...

Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?

Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi. ------------------------------

A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -

Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?

Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.

------------------------------

A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?

Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also

its beginning !

------------------------------

Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What  is this?"!

read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.

Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....

\------------------------------

2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar

where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters.....

\------------------------------

Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other

to check whether it is working.

He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO

------------------------------

Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?

Sardar angrily said, i know -

it means....

S - Sardaron ke

M - Mazak udane ki

S - Service

-----------------------------------

Two Sardars were walking together...

Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain..

           Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha....
 ------------------------------------
      Shopkeeper: "ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab"

          Sard : "Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE!!"
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   ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
                SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,

                  WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..

                     MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,

                 MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,

               MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
                    SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!
---------------------------------------
    Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"
            Sunita: "But I am one year elder than you."
    Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."
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   Two Sardars went into a pub and after ordering two
drinks took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.
"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner.
         So the two sardars exchanged their sandwiches.
---------------------------
   A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels,
         but he always started reading from the middle.
              A friend of his asked why he did so?"
  It'z doubly interesting", said the Sardar. "TO start from the
middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning
-----------------------------
   Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
   On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
  Next day , he noticed two banana peels and
          exclaimed" ari , aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!
------------------------------------------------
 
American says "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
         Sardarji " India mein to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hi hoti
                           hai...!!!"

 ----------------------------
 Dr Chopra psychotherapist wanted 'Sign board' to be
      pained in front of his clinic but our Sardar painter
              painted "Dr Chorpa Psycho The Rapist"

--------------------------
What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE .........

            Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai......

          Doosari bigadati hai to "SHUROO' ho jati hai
-------------------------------
Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?

 Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saal sey mera khoon jo pee rahi hai....
--------------------------------
 A two seater plane crashed in a graveyard ........

Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still..... digging for more.
--------------------------------
 Sardar found answer to most difficult question ever

           What comes first - the chicken or the egg ?

        < O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

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A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
. . . .. . . . . . . . He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.
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A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
in a funeral > function, suddenly all relatives beat
him why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
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Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the
branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted as branch manager."
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Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth.................
WHY?

because his doctor advised him "Todays dinner should
be light"_-=
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SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF
I SARDAR,SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY
KIDNEY....
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One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
his college.

U knw Why?

Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...
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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
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Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"

             He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"

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       How do you recognize a Sardar in School?

He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

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once a Sardhar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on          other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the   weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

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 Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar,  where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up  his mother to expect him in the evening. But  he didn't reach in the evening  and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day,  his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
(What Happened, My Son?)

 The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain,  aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They  have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!)

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 Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.


'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

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Sardar to Shopkeeper: - Mujhe India Ka Flag Dikhao, Shopkeeper ne
Flag
Dikhaya, Sardar: - Isme aur Colour Dikhao.
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I WILL BE ADDING MORE SOON.............SO STAY TUNED.